Hundreds Of Blind, Pallid Disney Characters Discovered Living In Caves Deep Within Space Mountain
ORLANDO, FL—Confirming years of rumored sightings by visitors to the theme park, officials from Walt Disney World said Tuesday that several hundred blind and bedraggled Disney characters are living in caves deep within Space Mountain.
The misshapen mascots, who after decades spent in total darkness have sickly gray skin and cloudy, sightless eyes, were reportedly found huddled together in a network of caverns extending far beneath the popular Tomorrowland attraction.
“Our maintenance crew recently spotted an unusual tunnel inside Space Mountain and, after shining a light inside, saw several pale forms skitter away into the darkness,” said Walt Disney World president George Kalogridis, noting that the light caused the mascots to hiss, raise their gloved hands in terror, and flee before anyone could get a good look at them. “Then our workers rounded a corner to find dozens of creatures clinging to the walls of the cavern, including one with scattered patches of fur they identified as Goofy, and another with skin grown over its eyes whom they believe was Minnie Mouse.”
“We wish to stress that, while they appear grotesque, they also seem to be harmless,” he continued. “They are incredibly sensitive to sound and scramble deeper into their caves anytime one of the roller-coaster cars speed past.”
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